What Made You Happy Today?

Seriously, think about it for a while. It is so easy to get caught up in all the negative stuff that happens around us. Especially when the everyday is rolling away and chores and errends and jobs and tasks and demands and what-not fills up our days. We get stressed. We get tired. We get grumpy. Sometimes we get bored. I get bored a lot. Then the negativity spiral takes off. Damn it.

Negativity breeds negativity

I read this article explaining how emotions are contagious, the negative once even more so:

“Many experts believe that negative emotions are a lot easier to catch than positive ones. Some believe this is reflective of our evolutionary past wherein being highly attuned to other people’s negative emotions (pain, fear, and disgust) was directly linked to survival. Those who could pick up on someone else’s pain, fear, and disgust were more likely to survive than those who could not.

But – positivity also breeds positivity. Phew!

It most definitely does. Take it from the experts and take it from me, the self-acclaimed negative/positive expert that I am.

Saying positive things. Doing positive things. It spreads positive vibes.

So, am I positve all day everyday? Hell no. I am often the opposite. I am prone to dwelving in my own missery, but that is exactly why I need to do something active and conscious to force the positivity into my life – otherwise it all gets too dark and dull to handle. Worst of all, I can give my negative vibe onto my kiddos.

My bag of little tricks to boost my own and my family’s positive spirit is pretty jam packed. I think I need to use it even more, ay?

Well, this particular trick is a family one, because our family needs to calm the fuck down and be postive every night – we can be such a bunch of whingers otherwise.

What is it we do?

It is pretty simple and something everyone can do every day. We eat dinner together every night and while eating we take turns in telling the other which three things that made us happy during the day. Simple.

Does it really work?

Yes! Focusing on some positive things that we experienced during the day help us to:

1. Start good conversations about the day around the table.

3. Give everyone a chance to get a word in and be heard.

2. Focus on the positives and go to bed with that in mind – or at least we can remind us self that life isn’t that bad afterall.

It might sound basic, but, as you know, back to basic is the new black. Some days it is really easy. Some days it can actually be pretty hard. On all days it is a good idea.

Here are some examples from our dinner table:

Today it made me happy (kids edition)…

…to play with my friends.

…to eat pizza here with you right now.

…to play in the sandpit.

…that I love my whole family.

…to get lollies.

…to swim in the pool.

…to play games together.

And the adult edition…

to paint the bathroom.

…to have a nap.

…to see Lulu take her first steps.

…when you girls played nicely together.

…to finish my assignment.

…to hear back from that job.

…to get the shopping done.

And one that very often goes again around the table:

Right now, eating dinner together.

As you can see, it does not have to be huge magnificent things. It can be, but it can also be tiny little things that made your day better in some way or another.

Have a go yourselves tonight and let me know how you go. Also, be a bit patient. It somehow gets better over time. At least that is my experience.

What has made you happy today?

❤️

Being Perfectly Average

I have been struggling with some major, lets call them, self definition issues lately. “Just a mom” doesn’t cut it anymore, but who am I, these days? Well, maybe I just need to get a hobby. Who knows.

I just feel like I am standing at a cross road – and I cannot move. I just stand here like a fool. But I want to move. I want to go somewhere. Anywhere, really. And then again…I want to lead the way. But I feel lost. And it frustrates me. Mainly because I do have some ideas I wish to follow. E.G. I want to give this little blogging adventure of mine a real go, but I hit the wall again and again. Ouch! Here’s why. Or at least here’s a bit of the ‘why’…

I am a perfectionist.

Yeah right, what a silly statement from someone who’s clothes are cringled and who’s house is a mess. Hang in there…

I also have a relatively intelligent head put on to my body. Ohh! An even more ridiculous statement to throw out into the open, from someone who never even managed to pass her studies back in the day. Well, we’re not talking mensa smart here, but I get around, right… (even if Josh did score higher in the intelligence test we took a while back. Yes we did).

Sounds like a great combo, ay. Unfortunately it can be a troubled one. You see, I am a smart, lazy perfectionist.

True story, I don’t make this shit up – I have it from my psychiatrist. He was very convincing.

So, what does it even mean? A smart, lazy perfectionist. Well, it means that I can do almost anyything I set my mind to. In theory. In reality, it often means that I don’t even get started on my projects or tasks. I get overwhelmed – because I know that getting it perfect will demand a shit load of work from me. And then I give up beforehand.

A side-effect, or a side order, of this mind of mine is that I am ridiculously scared of mistakes and failure. This being my biggest issue, really. Because we all know that you learn from mistakes – and constantly trying to avoid them or hide from them doesn’t do anyone any good. Ain’t no exciting future in that, I can tell you.

So, bottom line is that I am very aware of my weak points when it comes to self development and I do know what it takes to get somewhere. Anywhere. Unfortunately there’s sometimes an extremely long way from knowing to doing for me – hence me writing this right now.

Old mate psychiatrist also went on with something in the line of “you can do anything if you learn to manage this chaos inside you – but are you really willing? Do you dare?”

Hmmm. I AM willing. And I think I do dare. I am working on this, guys. I have learned that it is okay not to be the best at EVERYTHING. kinda. I have not yet learned to love that I am not good at everything I touch – at first try. But slowly getting there…

My studies commence next week. Last semester I studied two courses; Media & Society and Public Relations. I did fairly good at both and I have come to terms with that being okay. Afterall, I did also have a newborn baby and two additional kids to look after so barely made it to any lectures.

Putting my achievements into context like that is important for me even if it shouldn’t have to be, I guess. For now it makes it easier to have some kind of “excuse”.

I am practicing. I try to not always compare myself to the best. I try to aim less at being the best, but instead doing my best.

I am practicing and I am pretty sure it will take a life time to master. This is in my blood, guys. Hey – my brother have a custom made painting in his house saying “number one, number one, number one, no-one cares about the rest” – it’s two meters high. And red. And there’s a photo of himself in it too. Yeah, that’s where I am coming from. Haha!

Shit man.

Sure, I am in it to win it. Always will be – but I will also try my best to be in it just to have a good time. And learn from my mistakes. No matter what I get into, I hope. So please bare with me if I more consistently spam you with blog posts that aren’t ground breaking, amazingly, fantastic, ‘share it with all of your thousands of besties on Facebook’-good. It’s just me trying to find my way and practicing being okay with being average. Context and excuses, you know.

And just for the record, average can be pretty perfect.

❤️

Josh got into uni and I painted a door

Boom! Reality hits big time next week – and it’s quite okay. Josh got accepted into The University of Queensland today and starts his studies there next week. That is huge news for us, since we haven’t really known up until today if he would get into uni this semester or if he’d have to wait for the next semester start in July. Thankfully he can start now and I think it will be really good for both him and us that he will be able to concentrate 100% on his studies (and on family duties, but of course) and not worry about a job on the side for now, since that is the constellation we have opted for atm. Hopefully it will get him through his studies faster and with an even better outcome than if he worked nearly fulltime on the side.

I know I am excited for him (actually a bit jaloux, so am planning on applying for the July or February 2019 start myself) and I am pretty sure that he is excited to get back into his studies and even start at a completely new uni. Hey, he even got a new bike today so he can use it for his daily commute. He’s so Copenhagen, these days.

So yeah, those are probably the biggest news from our little family these days. Otherwise I can mention that I have finally found out where I am going to give birth to our third baby and I am even in ‘the baby factory system’ up here now. A bit of stress off my shoulders there, really.

Ohh, and the girls’ room is done, or nearly done. We still need to add some new furniture and some lamps and posters and stuff, but they can now use their room and they love it. It’s very obvious that they have missed having a base in the house that is theirs – with no clutter or moving boxes. We have a tiny bit less conflicts and more selfmotivated playtime now. Bliss!

Now we’ve moved our painting gear into the spareroom and will, hopefully, have that done by tomorrow night. I still have this utopian plan that we will be done with the entire internal part of the house come uni start for Josh – as in, on Monday. Yup.

Speaking of, I better get my painting outfit on and paint some doors or some windows or some skirting or some walls or…

We’ve got this!

Love M.

ABBY & BILLIE ARE TWO PERFECT LITTLE BOYS

“Your kids are absolutely perfect. I love it how wild and energetic they are. They are exactly how I imagined my children would be – if I have had boys

Abby in her usual gymnastics leo tard

So yeah, those were the exact words of a fellow mom at gymnastics today. She herself has two girls around Abby and Billie’s age, but for some reason she thinks my girls are particularly awesome – had they been boys.

I could not help but laugh. I thanked her, of course, and then I did tell her that they are both, indeed, girls. In the same breath I did say some shit like ‘no worries, we’re used to people confusing them with boys, maybe because we don’t always dress them in pink‘ and ‘the little one is called Billie, which does confuse people sometimes’

For some reason I feel like I have to make up excuses for people not being able to get my kids’ gender right.

The other mom, who I usually refer to as The Hippie Mom, is actually pretty cool. Like, she has this hippie kinda vibe about her, hence the nickname – and I mean that in a very positive way. She’s pretty relaxed and she’s very loving towards her children – not a given around here, but that’s a whole other, controversial story I might get into someday, if I’m brave.

The Hippie Mom got a bit embarrased, but said that she loves it when people challenge stereotyping. Cool! What puzzles me is that she doesn’t seem to do it herself. If she really dreamt of having two wild boys – why can’t she have two wild girls. Fair enough, her children might not be wild from nature. That’s fine. Maybe they wouldn’t be if they had been boys, neither.

The Hippie Mom’s comeback was strong: “Ohh, yeah I do see now that Abby is wearing pink socks.”

And we aaaaaaaaaaall know:

Pink = a girl

No pink = most definitely a boy

Jup.

Actually, I take what she said as a compliment. I love that my children are wild and energetic and make a good impression on people. But I find it a bit sad that their behaviour is somewhat sought after – if they were boys.

I believe that, at least in general and especially here in Australia (over Denmark), girls get treated just a little bit different. They get put into pretty little pink outfits. They get told it’s dangerous to climb high. They get told to be careful when they run wild. They get given just a tiny bit less freedom to move than boys. And if the boys are being wild and crazy ‘they are just being boys’ – if a girl acts the same way, it’s not really acceptable or ‘she should have been a boy’. That last sentence annoys me to the moon and and the stars and beyond. No, she should not have been a boy. Not unless she feels uncomfortable with the gender she has been born with. She’s a girl. And girls can be wild. Just like boys can be sensitive and play with dolls.

I guess my point is, one thing doesn’t have to rule out the other. Being a girl or a boy should not dictate how or what you play. Or how you are acting at gymnastics.

At gymnastics our girls are quite cheeky. Especially Abby is in her element there. She makes jokes with the teacher – who calls her crazy – and she is all over the place. The girl’s got energy and that energy needs to get out somehow. She’s also pretty loud. And she never wants her hair up. But most days she wears the most girly-girly little leo tard known to man. However, as soon as she rocks up in a more neutral outfit people completely forgets and thinks she’s a boy again – mainly due to how she behaves, I think.

I think she’s perfect, just the way she is. So is her sister.

Sometimes they are wild. Sometimes they are calm. Sometimes they wear pink. Sometimes they wear grey. They are always girls.

I truly hope that they will stay true to themselves, and not cave in too much to what society tells them about being “real” girls. Not now and not in 10-20-30 years.

Maybe our two rascals will even inspire The Hippie Mom and her girls to be less worried about how girls are “supposed” to look and act. That would be awesome.

Love M.