What Made You Happy Today?

Seriously, think about it for a while. It is so easy to get caught up in all the negative stuff that happens around us. Especially when the everyday is rolling away and chores and errends and jobs and tasks and demands and what-not fills up our days. We get stressed. We get tired. We get grumpy. Sometimes we get bored. I get bored a lot. Then the negativity spiral takes off. Damn it.

Negativity breeds negativity

I read this article explaining how emotions are contagious, the negative once even more so:

“Many experts believe that negative emotions are a lot easier to catch than positive ones. Some believe this is reflective of our evolutionary past wherein being highly attuned to other people’s negative emotions (pain, fear, and disgust) was directly linked to survival. Those who could pick up on someone else’s pain, fear, and disgust were more likely to survive than those who could not.

But – positivity also breeds positivity. Phew!

It most definitely does. Take it from the experts and take it from me, the self-acclaimed negative/positive expert that I am.

Saying positive things. Doing positive things. It spreads positive vibes.

So, am I positve all day everyday? Hell no. I am often the opposite. I am prone to dwelving in my own missery, but that is exactly why I need to do something active and conscious to force the positivity into my life – otherwise it all gets too dark and dull to handle. Worst of all, I can give my negative vibe onto my kiddos.

My bag of little tricks to boost my own and my family’s positive spirit is pretty jam packed. I think I need to use it even more, ay?

Well, this particular trick is a family one, because our family needs to calm the fuck down and be postive every night – we can be such a bunch of whingers otherwise.

What is it we do?

It is pretty simple and something everyone can do every day. We eat dinner together every night and while eating we take turns in telling the other which three things that made us happy during the day. Simple.

Does it really work?

Yes! Focusing on some positive things that we experienced during the day help us to:

1. Start good conversations about the day around the table.

3. Give everyone a chance to get a word in and be heard.

2. Focus on the positives and go to bed with that in mind – or at least we can remind us self that life isn’t that bad afterall.

It might sound basic, but, as you know, back to basic is the new black. Some days it is really easy. Some days it can actually be pretty hard. On all days it is a good idea.

Here are some examples from our dinner table:

Today it made me happy (kids edition)…

…to play with my friends.

…to eat pizza here with you right now.

…to play in the sandpit.

…that I love my whole family.

…to get lollies.

…to swim in the pool.

…to play games together.

And the adult edition…

to paint the bathroom.

…to have a nap.

…to see Lulu take her first steps.

…when you girls played nicely together.

…to finish my assignment.

…to hear back from that job.

…to get the shopping done.

And one that very often goes again around the table:

Right now, eating dinner together.

As you can see, it does not have to be huge magnificent things. It can be, but it can also be tiny little things that made your day better in some way or another.

Have a go yourselves tonight and let me know how you go. Also, be a bit patient. It somehow gets better over time. At least that is my experience.

What has made you happy today?

❤️

Abby’s Class Situation – Update

Last Friday we went to talk to Abby’s principal to discuss the possibility of changing her to the other prep-class at the school.

We made the deal with her, that we would observe Abby at home and she would make sure the teachers did the same at the school.

As the perfect mum I am, I had forgotten the meeting and arranged a surf trip instead. Yep, just hand me that mum of the year reward now, thanks!

Anyways, Josh was a champ and went to the meeting alone, while I took Lulu and Billie to the beach. Hey, I have been to numerous meetings and parent things without Josh, so I think it was completely fine that he did it. And I completely trusted him with the task.

I think we both kinda knew the outcome before hand, really.

On the very positive side, the school has actually taken our concerns very serious. The principal herself has talked to Abby, about her friends in the class, three times during the week. She has also talked to the other students to paint a pattern of their friendships. And she saw one – a pattern. This means that Abby has connected with a couple of other kids whom she consistently during the week mentioned as her friends – and who also mentioned her. All good.

That she still prefers playing with a couple of kids from the other class is okay as long as she starts to feel “at home” in her own class as well.

Our main concern was actually the conservative teaching methods used by Abby’s teacher. This we have chosen to let go a bit. Mainly to keep the good spirit. For Abby’s sake. We might take it up later on if it evolves in a direction we can’t accept.

Bottom line is – Abby stays in her class and it’s okay. At least we made the teachers aware of our concerns and I honestly think they have been more focused on the social integration this past week. I could be seeing what I want to see, but that’s my experience – and I am still happy that we didn’t just let it be.

❤️

New Year, New Me

2019 will be the year! The year of change! The year of new beginnings! The year of shit loads of healthy stuff! The year of no sugar, no TV, no alcohol, no, no, no!

…it sure will. Not for me, though. 2019 have started out pretty much where 2018 took off and it’s quite okay, really.

However, I have gotten a renewed energy boost for getting myself back into the good ol’ blogging game.

As most of you probably know, we went to Denmark to celebrate Christmas and New Years. We spent 6 weeks there and only got back to Australia one week ago. I might get back to that later on, since the trip moved something in me that our prior trips haven’t done in the same way. Anyway, getting back has been a bit tuff. We have been very jetlagged and tired, especially Abby has been restless and bored, the tantrums have escalated and settling back into our Aussie life has taken time – not completely there yet. And speaking of restless, I have had a hard time this past week. It’s like there’s SO much to do – practically – that my mind goes into an understimulated state, where I get ridicoulesly restless and frustrated. Even bored, even though there’s heaps to do. All of the mixed emotions about being back here doesn’t do much to help on the matter.

So, here I am. Blogging. Because it relaxes my mind. I need to relax my mind these days. If only I was one of those people who actually relaxes by doing the laundry and cleaning the house – I’ve heard they are out there somewhere. For real life! – Ohh mayn, I’d be the most relaxed woman south of Darwin. Unfortunately that’s not the case. But hey, fortunately Josh is pretty good at the laundry duties and my blogging game is ON. Again. Ahhhh…bliss!

Ohh, and let me not forget to wish you all a very Happy New Year – thank you so much for reading my lil’ blog❤️P.S. Here’s a random photo of me and the girls ready for a bike trip – because it makes me happy.

Dealing With the Big Bad Mommy Guilt

This past week has been a bit tuff around here. As I wrote in my last post I found out that I do have gestational diabetes and I have just been mentally and physically exhausted, to be honest. This lack of energetic surplus has made me feel like I’ve been a pretty shitty parent. I have been grumpy and my patience has not been able to cope with two small humans’ huge emotions and arguments. Ohh, the arguments(!) So, I must admit that the big bad mommy guilt has build up a bit when I’ve zoomed out and acknowledged that what I am doing is not what I actually wish to do – I just haven’t got the energy to deal with it, really.

That being said, I know that it’s time to adress the bad habits that are starting to build up. Because a lot of it is habit. An autopilot that kicks in when everything else shuts down and right now it doesn’t do me or the kids much good. Luckily I know from earlier episode like these that I relatively easy can adjust the autopilot settings if I remember to focus on it before it’s actually needed. If that makes any sense to others than me…?

If you have a little look at the books I ordered the other day it might clear things up a bit, since they are just a tiny bit reflective of my current mindset…….

Yeah, first step is to acknowledge you have a problem, right? Think I’ve gone a bit past the first step, then. Haha…ohh, dear. If only parenting was so easy as to read about it in a book. The thing is, at least it makes me feel like I do something to move in the right direction. That in itself has a pretty powerful effect on me – and often I do actually get some good insights or even some useable tools from these parenting themed books. Excited to find out if any of these are any good. Or if I will finally learn not to give a fuck, at least.

Well, well!

While I’ve been hitting myself in the head for not being a good enough parent we’ve actually been assured that our children are doing quite alright, nonetheless.

For instance, Abby’s kindy teacher told us that she believes Abby is a very intelligent child due to her way of problem solving, her creativity and her determination to learn letters and numbers. Also, which is what I find most positively surprising, she said that her language is very well developed for her age. This is something that has been worrying me a bit lately, actually. She still struggles with the pronounciation of some letters and mixes up words and such, and I have – of course(!) – compared her to other kids her age and found her language lagging. Now, her teacher tells me I am wrong. Very wrong. How awesome! She says that her vocabulary is quite developed and her sentence constructions are very mature. One proud and relieved mummy, right here.

Then later in the same week her swimming teacher told me that she is doing really well in her lessons – and that she’s really good at correcting her mistakes and working hard to become better. Now, I am not hoping for her to become an elite swimmer. Not at all, actually (do you know how early they – and their parents – have to get up every damn day to train?!). I do, however, hope that she will become recilient, strong and determined to reach her goals whatever they may be. That’s why it makes me happy. And again, proud!

It also gives me a bit of extra encouragement to keep on keeping on.

Because eventhough it all seems overwhelming at times and I feel like this mummy business might not be the right career path for me it reminds me that my children are doing pretty damn good so far – even if I am not a perfect parent 24/7 365. So maybe I should just take a chill pill and try to focus on the positives. I will. I am. Luckily there’s so much to focus on!

I mean, just look at them!

Josh got into uni and I painted a door

Boom! Reality hits big time next week – and it’s quite okay. Josh got accepted into The University of Queensland today and starts his studies there next week. That is huge news for us, since we haven’t really known up until today if he would get into uni this semester or if he’d have to wait for the next semester start in July. Thankfully he can start now and I think it will be really good for both him and us that he will be able to concentrate 100% on his studies (and on family duties, but of course) and not worry about a job on the side for now, since that is the constellation we have opted for atm. Hopefully it will get him through his studies faster and with an even better outcome than if he worked nearly fulltime on the side.

I know I am excited for him (actually a bit jaloux, so am planning on applying for the July or February 2019 start myself) and I am pretty sure that he is excited to get back into his studies and even start at a completely new uni. Hey, he even got a new bike today so he can use it for his daily commute. He’s so Copenhagen, these days.

So yeah, those are probably the biggest news from our little family these days. Otherwise I can mention that I have finally found out where I am going to give birth to our third baby and I am even in ‘the baby factory system’ up here now. A bit of stress off my shoulders there, really.

Ohh, and the girls’ room is done, or nearly done. We still need to add some new furniture and some lamps and posters and stuff, but they can now use their room and they love it. It’s very obvious that they have missed having a base in the house that is theirs – with no clutter or moving boxes. We have a tiny bit less conflicts and more selfmotivated playtime now. Bliss!

Now we’ve moved our painting gear into the spareroom and will, hopefully, have that done by tomorrow night. I still have this utopian plan that we will be done with the entire internal part of the house come uni start for Josh – as in, on Monday. Yup.

Speaking of, I better get my painting outfit on and paint some doors or some windows or some skirting or some walls or…

We’ve got this!

Love M.

10 RANDOMS ABOUT ME

There is this little game over on Instagram where people post 20 random facts about themselves to let their followers get to know the human behind the pretty little squares.

I have been tagged in this game a couple of times, but I have not yet shared any facts let alone 20. However, I actually do like the idea. So, I have decided to join the game, not on Instagram but here on my blog.

Instead of 20 facts I have cut it down to 10 facts for now. My idea is to throw in 10 RANDOMS about me & my life whenever the urge to do so emerges. Most likely after one of my runs – just got back from one now – since they often make my thoughts jump all over the place. That’s another story, though.

Now, here we go. The first 10 random facts about yours truly.

  1. I was born in Odense, Denmark in 1982. That makes me 34 years old now. Wow. I still have to show ID when I buy alcohol, though. I choose to take that as a compliment and always feel a little bit sorry for the alcohol-shop-dude when he realises how old I am. He always gets embarrassed and comes up with a bunch of excuses. “Dude, you just saved my day, okay. Thanks!”
  2. My dad used to own a chocolate factory and it was pretty much just as awesome as it sounds. Not so much because of the chocolate, since I actually found it kinda boring to eat chocolate back then, but I absolutely loved hanging out at the factory itself. It was only a 5 minute walk from our house and it was definitely my happy place when I was a child. So much to explore, so much to experience. Unfortunately it got sold when I was around 12 years old. I swore back then that I would grow up, get rich and buy it back one day. Still waiting around for that day to arrive. Hmmmm…
  3. I am a cat person. I am not a big fan of dogs. I find most of them rather annoying and I don’t trust them. At least with cats you know they are little a**holes and the worst they can do is scratch, whereas dogs can seem so friendly and loving and then bite your head off the next minute. Seriously! Okay, I guess I am scared of dogs.
  4. I was a major tom-boy when I was a child. I actually wished I was a boy for many years. I even looked like a boy and most of my friends were boys or other tom-boys (see photos above). I still find it a lot easier to be around guys than girls/women, especially initially when I meet them. I think it is the reason why I sometimes find this mummy world a bit daunting.
  5. I love beer, especially craft beer. Always beer over drinks. Unless the drinks are free. Free always tastes good.
  6. I am currently on antibiotics for my ingrown toe nail. It has been bothering me for years and I am finally getting something done to it. First antibiotics and afterwards an operation. I can’t wait to be able to run, jump, surf, walk, swim…anything really…without pain again. Bring on the active summer!
  7. I love coffee, but not in the morning. Unlike most people I need to eat my breakfast and wake up a bit before I have my first (of several) coffee of the day.
  8. I have never broken a bone (knock-knock) in my body. I blame that on quite a decent balance and a great bunch of luck.
  9. I only just got my license last year. Yep, still on my red P’s (the license system here in Australia lets you drive with restrictions in the beginning) like all the other young mums in the area. However, I am ready to go for my green P’s now. Hopefully I will nail that test so I can drive a bit faster when we go for road trips this summer – as we have several in mind. Yay!
  10. I held the record in the javelin for years in high school. Even several years after I graduated my name was still on top of the record sheet.

Boom!

That’s it for now, folks. I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit about who I am. It was actually easier to do this than I had anticipated, so maybe it won’t be long until another 10 RANDOMS hits this little blog of mine.